Category Archives: I Love Narcissism

In Your Face

Old Nose

Exactly 46 days ago, I had a nose job.I know — it’s hard to believe, isn’t it? In fact, prior to the surgery, I told several people what I was doing and literally every one of them said “I really don’t think  you need a nose job.” I appreciated their sentiment but I needed it.

Here’s why: anyone who has ever slept in the same city room as me knows that my snoring and I were pretty much single-handedly sawing down the Redwood National Forest on a nightly basis. I was keeping everyone else up but, mostly, I was keeping myself up. I was always exhausted, even after getting eight hours of “sleep” and was barely able to make it through my work day, much less through my busy social life post-work.

So I did what any smart girl would do and scheduled appointments to meet with three plastic surgeons. All three of them told me the same thing: I had a major deviated septum (read: I was physically prevented from breathing out of the left side of my nose and was only getting 25% airflow through it — 25%!). In other words, I was pretty much breathing through one side of my face. Hello…we all know what lack of oxygen does to the body and it isn’t good, that’s for sure! Plus, since it was a medical condition, the “inside” part of the surgery was all done for the mighty, mighty price of free (thank you, company for which I work!). Sadly, the “outside” portion was not, but no matter — I’ve started growing a money tree on my patio to take care of this expense.

Four weeks later, there I was at St. Luke’s Hospital at the crack o’dawn being wheeled into the operating room with a nurse wearing an LSU hat. This, I thought, could only mean good things. Sure enough, three hours and one improved nose later, I was all fixed up. Once I was home, my amazing momma went into overdrive taking care of me — she cooked for me, cleaned for me, took care of Abby (my cat), made sure I wasn’t comatose from the copious drugs I was taking, and shoveled frozen peas into baggie after baggie so my black eyes would go away.  The bottom line is that my mom rocks!

I’m not going to go into the gory details because, really, who cares? But know this: it was all worth the wait.

New 46-day-old nose

My nose is definitely still in the healing stage, but it was worth it all. It was worth the not-blowing-my-nose-for-46-days. It was worth the tip-of-my-nose-is-still-numb-which-feels-oh-so-weird. It was even definitely worth the fact that my nose is still swollen and will be for several more months (well, maybe this isn’t so worth it), because the fact of the matter is that I can now breathe!!!

I’ve asked very good and reliable sources, and have been assured that I’m no longer snoring when I sleep. This, I can tell you, is worth every single thing that comes along with major surgery. What else is good? I no longer feel like an 87 year-old woman who needs to nap every five minutes at 10 am. Trust me — that’s  not at all good for work productivity…not good at all! I finally have a ton of energy and am sleeping like one billion times better. It’s made the people sleeping in the same city room as me happy, especially my cat who was threatening to register a complaint with animal protection about it. And, the cosmetic work I had done didn’t change the way I looked, a la Jennifer Grey, but reduced the projection of my nose by 1/2 inch, reduced the width, and made it smaller all-around (maybe one day soon I’ll actually get to see the final result…like when this freaking swelling goes down!).

The bottom line is that I’m happier than I’ve been in a long, long time because I can finally breathe…which is kind of a big deal. All I can say is I’ve seen god and it’s in the form of my plastic surgeon. Bless this man — bless him long time!

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Two HUGE Things

I’m crazy busy but, because I don’t want you to miss me too much, I wanted to quickly let you know about two giganticly exciting things that happened to me recently. You’re welcome. 😉

First, and most importantly, I was one of ten Toronto bloggers selected to blog for the CBC during the G20 as part of the CBC G20 Citizen Blog Team! Not just a huge feat unto itself, but a huge honour, too. You’ll be able to follow all the goings-on of the G20 and the police state into which Toronto has turned, along with photos and videos from yours truly.

Secondly, I was in an earthquake today. Yeah, you heard me.  Toronto went and had an earthquake that measured 5.5 on the Richter scale. I mean, if I hadn’t thought I’d already seen and done everything there was to do in Toronto, I did after today.

I’ll be back here to chat again soon, but, in the meantime, I hope you follow me as I help cover the G20 Summit as a citizen blogger for the CBC!

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Filed under I Love Narcissism, Toronto

101 Things in 1,001 Days

List: [list] -noun. A series of names or other items written or printed together in a meaningful grouping or sequence so as to constitute a record.

If you’re anything like me, you love to make lists. Grocery lists**, lists of things to pack, everyday to-do lists, lists of movies to see, books to read, lists of things about yourself, and lists of things you’ve already done just so you can cross things off said list.

The original idea of the “101 things in 1,001 days” apparently began a while ago and continues at DayZeroProject.com but, since we all know I’m not necessarily an early-adopter^, I sat back and waited for a while just to make sure the thing took hold. 😉  Apparently, it did. So, after much brooding and thinking and mulling and deliberating and reasoning, here’s my list of the 101 things I plan to accomplish in the next 1,001 days. If I start today, I should complete the list by.

So, after much thinking and pondering and mulling and reasoning and excogitating, I’ve come up with my list. Let the crossing off begin!

Note: I’ve been working on this list for a while and just so happened to do some of the things on the list before I published it. And because I’m the master of this domain, I say they count. 🙂

  1. Make a personal book of recipes
  2. Write a letter to myself to open in ten years
  3. Watch the sunrise and sunset in the same day
  4. Sleep under the stars
  5. See the Northern Lights
  6. Join a book club Joined a foodie book club at Nicholas Hoare
  7. Go to a showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show at midnight
  8. Go to SXSW
  9. Send a secret to PostSecret
  10. Take a hot air balloon ride
  11. Watch a meteor shower
  12. Go on a picnic
  13. Buy a bicycle — and ride it!
  14. Start my own business — I haz ideas!
  15. Finish Infinite Jest
  16. Make a bucket list
  17. Try colouring my hair brown
  18. Complete a half marathon
  19. Do meditation once a week
  20. Go snowshoeing
  21. Find out my blood type (I think it’s A-, but not I’m not + :-))
  22. Build and sleep inside a blanket fort
  23. Start doing yoga
  24. Buy new furniture (dining room table and sofa)
  25. Go to the Texas State Fair and eat a fried Twinkie
  26. Start recycling
  27. Start playing tennis again
  28. Drive across Canada
  29. Learn to sew a button
  30. Delete my MySpace account
  31. Visit an apple orchard
  32. Visit the wineries in Prince Edward County
  33. Go dogsledding
  34. Take a multi-vitamin everyday
  35. Find and meet with a financial advisor
  36. Create my will
  37. Balance my chequebook everyday
  38. Adopt a cat or a dog — Completed on March 17, 2010 with the addition of Abby the Cat to my family of one (and now two)
  39. Ride the Polar Express
  40. Learn to play Hearts and Texas Hold ‘Em
  41. Watch “What the Bleep Do We Know” in its entirety
  42. Grow an herb garden
  43. Go to cooking school for a week
  44. Finish watching every season of “Lost
  45. Watch at least one full season of “The Simpsons
  46. Spend a weekend at Le Scandinave
  47. Get nominated for the Junior League Board of Directors Nominated as the Communications Director for 2010-11
  48. Skate down the Rideau Canal***
  49. Watch “Roots
  50. Publish an article in a travel publication
  51. Finish knitting the scarf I started in July 2009
  52. See A Prairie Home Companion live
  53. Watch the complete AFI Top 100 Movies
  54. See the McMichael Canadian Art Collection
  55. Eat at The Doctors House, Splendido, and Harbourd Room
  56. Clear out the 765 emails in my Gmail inbox Completed February 22, 2010! I deleted more than 1,600 emails from my inbox! W00t!
  57. Figure out if I should keep or sell my condo in Houston
  58. Go up the CN Tower
  59. Read a book written by someone with whom I disagree (which shouldn’t be very hard)
  60. Fly on the new Boeing 787 (cannot. wait.)
  61. See the Tragically Hip live
  62. Move my blog over to WordPress.org
  63. Hike four Ontario trails
  64. Attend the BlogHer Conference
  65. Find a plane spotting group in Toronto
  66. Try Ethiopian food Ate at Ethiopian House in Toronto with my Yelp friends. Let’s just say I won’t be going back. Ahem.
  67. Set up the 1TB external hard drive I’ve had for six months
  68. Put together a first aid kit for my (newly paid off) car
  69. Play golf at Pebble Beach
  70. Become a docent at an art gallery
  71. Complete a Berlitz French course
  72. See a play at the Stratford Festival
  73. Go to High Park
  74. Frame all the unframed things I have lying around my house
  75. Actually finish the Flickr “365-Day Challenge”, rather than starting it and finishing it after 45 days. Ahem.
  76. See contemporary dance at the Winch at least six times
  77. Start taking hip-hop dance classes again
  78. Participate in NaBloPoMo twice a yar
  79. Try out roller derby
  80. Provide school supplies for an underprivileged family
  81. Buy a MacBookPro, because I’m really tired of double-clicking 🙂
  82. Get rid of my landline
  83. Fly a kite
  84. Go camping in an actual tent and not what I like to call “Hyatt” camping
  85. Learn how to use my Canon DSLR I’ve had for two years rather than just shooting on Auto
  86. Go see a sport I’ve never seen before (I’m looking at you, soccer)
  87. Write down ten things for which I’m thankful everyday
  88. Begin the courses towards becoming a master sommelier
  89. Get my eyes checked
  90. Eat dim sum…and dim some more!
  91. Watch 26 movies that begin with a letter in the alphabet
  92. Travel to: Asia (Angkor Wot, Thailand, Hanoi, China); Canada (Banff, Halifax, Winnipeg); Chile and Argentina
  93. Backup my computer
  94. Skate at Harbourfront Centre
  95. Complete my digital afterlife
  96. Build a snowman****
  97. Stop swearing for a whole month
  98. See a baseball game at Wrigley Field
  99. Make a key lime pie
  100. Try to make heads or tails of Canadian Parliament and their constant proroguing. 😉

^ although I’m not necessarily a late-adopter either; to wit, I have three close friends who don’t even have Facebook pages. Also, they drive horses and buggies. 🙂
** I ❤ the Grocery app on my iPhone. No more losing my arm in my purse looking for a pen and paper!
*** Completion which requires actual cold weather and not this hovering-right-above-freezing all winter. The skateway is actually closed because it’s not cold enough!
**** See above. This task also requires snow and we haven’t had any snow this year. In fact, Vancouver’s having to *ship it* in for the Olympics. Global warming, indeed.

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Filed under I Love Narcissism, Life Stuff

104 Posts::208 Things (Day 5)

This is officially my 100th104th post! I had every intention of posting this on my 100th post, but then I lost my mind and signed up for NaBloPoMo and, in my haste to post a blog every single day (along with, oh, I don’t know, living my life), it took me a few days longer to finish this monster than I anticipated. In celebration of my 100 104 posts, I’ve done what I’ve managed to spare both you and me from thus far –a long, rambling list about the mundane minutiae of my life. But fret not — the list has officially arrived. You’re welcome. 😉

I’ve lived in Canada for 895 days now (!) and have done way more than 100 104 things but, apparently, someone injected me with a little bit of lazy along the way, so 100 104 posts are all I’ve written1.  It’s taken me eons longer than I expected to get to 100 104 posts for reasons that are unimportant. Let’s just say that, like Talullah Bankhead once said, “‘It’s the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls don’t have time.”

Like many of you, I am a list nerd. Lists, for me, are like manna from heaven. I make lists about lists and I write already-completed tasks on my lists just to get pleasure of crossing them off. So, in honour of my 100th 104th post, I thought I’d do what I do best and list 200 208 things about me that you may or may not already know, but about which I’m sure you are dying to know. And, all for the mighty, mighty price of free. So grab yourself a snack, put on your Snuggie, make yourself comfortable, and read some Carmen goodness…

Growing Up

  1. I am an only child.
  2. I was born in Houston, Texas. It’s like living-on-the-face-of-the-sun-hot there.
  3. I started walking when I was ten months old. I have no idea if this is an accomplishment or not.
  4. Apparently, I liked to climb as a child. My mom once walked into the kitchen after putting me to sleep and I was sitting on top of the refrigerator. I still like to climb on things.
  5. My surname is French and is properly pronounced “meeyAy”. My peeps came from France, through Canada and down to Louisiana. Hence you could say that, with me living in Canada, the Millet family has come full circle. Or, that we hate the heat. Discuss.
  6. I grew up with a Cocker Spaniel named Buffy, who I used to carry everywhere. Literally. If we went from the living room into the kitchen, I carried him. Poor dog. After Buffy died, we got a Miniature Schnauzer named Heidi. The first time she walked into our backyard, she fell into our swimming pool and had to dog paddle her way out. She never went near it again.
  7. My dad used to tell me that when you ate oysters, they would come alive in your mouth and swim down your throat. To this day, I have never eaten an oyster. Thanks Dad!
  8. I have direct relatives in Alaska, four cities in California, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Ohio.

School Stuff

  1. I went to a private, Episcopalian2 school until 4th grade. We went to chapel every Friday.
  2. I learned to speak Spanish in 1st grade and still speak it today, although not as fluently as when I lived in Texas since there are approximately 6.5 Spanish speakers in Canada.
  3. I went to school with the same people from 4th through 12th grades.
  4. I was accepted at all the universities to which I applied: University of Texas, Baylor University, Texas A&M University, and Louisiana State University.
  5. I have a BBA in Speech Communications and Marketing from Texas A&M University.
  6. I was accepted into law school, but decided I didn’t want to waste my life away with my nose buried in law books. Instead, I now bury it in motherlodes of email and bureaucratic red tape.
  7. I have finished half of my MBA.
  8. I will probably never finish my MBA, considering I reside in a country where I am not permitted to pursue any kind of formal education. (see #7)

My Deets

  1. I’m 5’3″
  2. Most people think I’m taller since I wear 4-inch heels 98% of the time. My knees hate me for it.
  3. I have blue eyes, though they tend to change colour depending on what I’m wearing.
  4. I have naturally blonde hair, but it’s getting darker as I get older. Hello,  highlights!
  5. I’ve always wanted a tiny pink streak in my hair.
  6. I wear a size 8 shoe.
  7. I grew up with 20/70 vision in my left eye, but after wearing glasses until University, it is now corrected to nearly 20/20.
  8. I’m a registered Republican. I’ve voted Republican in every federal election with the exception of the most recent one. Ahem.
  9. Since moving to Canada, I’ve become way, way more liberal than I was before I got here.
  10. I’m a cradle Catholic3  but have started going to an Episcopalian church in Toronto of late
  11. I’m a Sagittarius, which I’m pointing out only because it means you should be thinking about what to get me for my birthday.
  12. I bought my first house when I turned 29. I bawled my eyes out the night before I closed out of sheer terror that, say, Dog the Bounty Hunter was going to come take my house away when I couldn’t pay my mortgage.

 My Metaphorical Suitcase

  1. I spend the majority of my discretionary income on traveling. It is my absolute biggest passion.
  2. I’ve traveled to 26 US states and 43 major US cities.
  3. I’ve traveled to 3 Canadian provinces and 8 Canadian cities.
  4. I’ve traveled to 13 countries on 3 continents.
  5. One of my travel goals is to go to every National Park in the US
  6. I just started writing a travel blog called A Metaphorical Suitcase. It’s all professional sounding and isn’t nearly as much fun as ATGAIC!
  7. My favourite cities are New York City and Paris. It’s cliché, but I don’t care. They live up to the hype.
  8. I love, love, love to fly. I am a plane geek and can identify the type of plane just by hearing the engine4. I still get butterflies when I see planes take-off, land, and in the air. Conclusion: I should marry a pilot.
  9. I want to fly privately just once. Travel gods, you can’t see me, but I’m down on my knees begging…
  10. I recently went on my first helicopter ride. I got nauseous and nearly had to use the bag. Conclusion: I should stick to planes.

 Books I’ve Finished In the Last Six Months

  1. When You Are Engulfed in Flames — David Sedaris (re-read)
  2. Barrel Fever — David Sedaris
  3. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone5 — JK Rowling
  4. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets — JK Rowling
  5. My Life in France — Julia Child
  6. The Death of Conservatism  — Sam Teanenhaus
  7. Infinite Jest — David Foster Wallace (I’m only halfway through this one, but it’s 1,079 pp, so cut me some slack, people! Also where I got my idea for blog footnotes)
  8. Liberty — Garrison Keillor
  9. The Sharper Your Knife, The Less You Cry — Kathleen Flinn
  10. The Picture of Dorian Gray — Oscar Wilde (my all-time favourite book)

Magazines To Which I Subscribe

  1. Vanity Fair6
  2. Wired
  3. Newsweek
  4. Travel & Leisure
  5. Fast Company
  6. Garden and Gun
  7. The Globe and Mail (newspaper)

My Favourite Games

  1. Taboo
  2. 80’s Trivial Pursuit
  3. Gin Rummy
  4. Scrabble
  5. Blokus
  6. Cranium

My Monstrous Wanna-be Techno-nerd Tendencies

  1. I have 22 email addresses
  2. I own 11 URLs
  3. I have 15 different blog URLs set-up over three blogging platforms, and actively blog on three of them.
  4. I use an HP Pavilion 17″ laptop that is an absolute pig on weight and space, and is coming unhinged — literally.
  5. I secretly want a Mac, but I’d never admit it. 😉
  6. I have profiles on more websites than I care to admit; they easily number into the 30’s.
  7. I currently have 161 Facebook friends. I am very selective in who I add and know all of them personally IRL.
  8. I currently have 5,029 images on Flickr
  9. I currently have 755 unread emails in my Gmail inbox, some of which date to 2006. If you’re still waiting for a reply, this is probably why.

Edible Material

  1. I started drinking coffee about three months ago after I bought a Bialetti coffee pot. I am now addicted to cappuccino’s on Sunday.
  2. I still drink tea, especially sweet tea (also known as the “wine of the south”).
  3. My favourite cuisine is Tex-Mex7.
  4. My second favourite “cuisine” is french fries. I recently went on a french fry crawl with some Yelp friends and I was at peace.
  5. Nothing on the face of the planet beats “Southern Surf & Turf”. For my Canadian readers, this means venison and crawfish.
  6. My favourite vegetable is broccoli, although the only one I really don’t like is eggplant.
  7. My favourite fruits are watermelon (especially good to cure a hangover), pineapple and strawberries, but I love them all (except kiwi – ew).
  8. My favourite Houston restaurants are Cafe Annie and Pappasito’s Cantina. My favourite Toronto restaurants are Grace and Nota Bene.
  9. My favourite cocktails are Pimm’s Cup, gin & tonic and big red wines.
  10. My favorite beers are Guinness, Sol, Dos XX (Dear Ontario, please start selling this in Canada!), and Hoegaarden.
  11. My favourite dessert is my dad’s world-famous chocolate sheet cake. It is fierce!

Things That Take Me To My Happy Place

  1. My iPhone
  2. My hard, candy pink iPhone case
  3. My red, cast iron Mario Batali risotto pan
  4. David Sedaris
  5. Sparklers
  6. Being anywhere outdoors or near water
  7. Playing games, especially Rummy, dominos and Taboo (which I will beat you at every. single. time.)
  8. Eating brunch
  9. Bubble baths in giant soaker tubs
  10. Blogging
  11. Hummingbirds
  12. Bubbling hot tubs at 105 degrees Fahrenheit, especially ones overlooking oceans (see #9)
  13. The CBC
  14. Cats and dogs
  15. Hiking
  16. Musicals, especially Chicago and Spring Awakening, and singing them at the top of my lungs in the privacy of my car
  17. Year-round Christmas lights on my patio
  18. Listening to “This American Life” podcasts and swooning over Ira Glass
  19. 30 Rock, Entourage, Top Chef, Project Runway
  20. Snow falling at night
  21. Swimming at night, especially in warm lakes
  22. In-town hotel stays
  23. Jumping on hotel beds
  24. Haiku
  25. Dancing
  26. My passport
  27. Trying new foods (I just had Korean for the first time!)
  28. Witty repartee
  29. The Sunday Times
  30. Queen Video
  31. Swirled cherry and orange Slurpees
  32. Photography/photo safaris/my cameras
  33. Stepping outside my comfort zone
  34. Giggling/Laughing/Chest-shaking guffaws
  35. Swinging on swingsets
  36. Hip Hop karaoke and hip hop dance class
  37. Public Radio International
  38. RadioLab
  39. Jalapeño hummus
  40. Classic 80’s music
  41. Classic country music (i.e., Willie Nelson, Hank Williams, etc.)
  42. Jarritos Mandarin flavoured-drinks
  43. Arm’s length photos, thusly
  44. College football.  GEAUX TIGERS!
  45. Madonna, the Dixie Chicks, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Michelle Obama, my momma

Things That Take Me To My Unhappy Place

  1. People who use the word “reoccurring” instead of “recurring”. People of the universe: “reoccurring” is not a word! Check the dictionary!
  2. People who drive slowly in the left lane. I want them to die very slow deaths please move to the right.
  3. Smoke/smoking/smokers/people smoking and walking in front of me on the sidewalk whose smoke I am then forced to inhale
  4. Being hot, unless I’m on a beach, in a hot tub, or hiking up a mountain
  5. Liars
  6. Cheaters
  7. Balancing my checkbook(s). Unluckily for me, now that I live in Canada but am still paid in USD, I have to manage not one, but *two* chequebooks — my CAD one and USD one. They are the bane of my existence.
  8. Clutter
  9. Migraines
  10. Oprah
  11. Americans who travel abroad and act ignorant. When in Rome, people. If you don’t like it, go back to your bubble.
  12. Paying a $60 annual tax to the City of Toronto just for having a car in the 416
  13. Paying 5 cents for a plastic bag. I still giggle when I buy clothes and cart them out of the store draped over my arm.
  14. Did I mention balancing my chequebook?

Things On My Desk At Work 

  1. Two flags: a Canadian flag and an American flag
  2. The Dictionary of Cultural Literacy; Hirsch, Kett, Trefil
  3. Coloured file folders with labeled tabs; mostly pink, with a smattering of blue, green, yellow and red
  4. The Belvedere calendar, which I’ve had on my desk every month for ten years
  5. An Ikea lamp
  6. Green apple-flavoured Viraguard antiseptic hand spray, so as to protect myself against the pig flu
  7. Two buttons: Toronto Maple Leafs/Raptors & Vancouver Canucks
  8. A Remembrance Day peony, which is on my desk because it keeps falling off of my coat.
  9. Various pens, including a pink feathered ostrich that rattles and an Incredibles pen that lights up when I write
  10. My perpetually refilled cup of Diet Coke (Conclusion: I require copious amounts of chemicals).
  11. The original Wooly Willy

Things In My Refrigerator

  1. Half a bottle of Cave Spring 2007 Riesling
  2. Unopened bottle of White Zinfandel8
  3. Fig & Walnut jam (the brand which I don’t know since I threw away the wrapper)
  4. Goat cheese (beneath which said unnamed Fig & Walnut spread is spread)
  5. Freshly grated gruyere cheese and a block of Parmesano Reggiano
  6. Jalapeño hummus
  7. A case of Caffeine-free Diet Coke
  8. Whipped cream
  9. Three cans9 of Amsterdam beer
  10. Box of Jiffy cornbread10
  11. Fresh spinach
  12. Red onion
  13. Cilantro
  14. A motherlode of condiments but, most importantly, salsa

The Last Ten Things I Listened To On XM Radio

  1. The Bob Edwards Show, to which I listen every single day
  2. We Both Reached For the Gun — Chicago soundtrack
  3. Not Ready to Make Nice — Dixie Chicks
  4. Ocean Front Property — George Strait
  5. Kids — MGMT
  6. West End Girls — Pet Shop Boys
  7. Rose Colored Glasses — Conway Twitty
  8. Pancho and Lefty — Willie Nelson
  9. Bigmouth Strikes Again — The Smiths
  10. Black Celebration — Depeche Mode

Random and Seriously Fun Facts About Moi

  1. I will try absolutely anything at least once (except oysters.)
  2. iPhone apps to which I’m addicted: Fling!, Tetris, Scramble and Groceries
  3. I always wanted a 5-speed car, so after graduating University, I bought one without knowing how to drive it. My friend Jill drove me home and taught me how to drive it the next day. I stalled my way to work for about a week, but loved every second of it! My current car has a Tiptronic transmission, but it’s really faux-manual and isn’t nearly the same.
  4. My favourite artists are René Magritte, Julian Schnabel, Mark Rothko, and Cy Twombly.
  5. My favourite museums are the Menil Collection in Houston; the Tate Modern in London; and the Musee d’Orsay in Paris.
  6. I have an interest in both Surrealist art and art stolen by the Nazis during WWII.
  7. I like sleeping on white, high thread count sheets.
  8. My favourite flowers are pink tulips, pink peonies and white orchids.
  9. How I lived prior to having a PVR is beyond me.
  10. I went tobogganing for the first time in March 2009. I was the only person over the age of five going down the hill and had an absolute ball!
  11. I have a serious crush on Andy Williams.11
  12. My porn star name is Buffy Fairacres.12
  13. My favourite number is 1313
  14. I have a keen interest in the workings of the Intelligence community, specifically the CIA
  15. I haven’t played a videogame since I kicked ass at Tron and Donkey Kong on Intellivision, circa 1985
  16. I only run in Asics Gel Nimbus running shoes. They are like running on pillows.
  17. I’ve neither broken any bones nor been stung by a bee — ever
  18. I don’t have any tattoos
  19. Three of my closest friends don’t have Facebook pages. I find this bizarre.
  20. I love timepieces of any kind and currently own eight watches
  21. My favourite piece of jewelry is my Tiffany “hook and eye” bracelet I bought with the first paycheque I earned out of University
  22. My necessary extravagance is a regular 90-minute massage
  23. My favourite all-time movie is “Moonstruck”
  24. Other than shampoo and conditioner, I don’t use any hair products.
  25. My toothpaste is Colgate Max Fresh Liquid Gel in Clean Mint. It’s a complete mystery to me why toothpaste only comes in mint flavours. Who decided we all wanted mint toothpaste? I, for one, would like something a little more exciting like Gin & Tonic or Margarita-flavoured toothpaste. Let’s put a little fun in the teeth brushing chore please, toothpaste makers.
  26. My summer perfume is Annick Goutal Eau d’Hadrien and my winter perfume is either Coco Chanel Mademoiselle or Annick Goutal Mandragore
  27. I collect nail polish (What?)
  28. I’m an absolute candle *freak*. I have a candle closet in my house and currently have about 20 unburned candles. My very favourite scent is Votivo Red Currant . Someone just told me that candles are the new “cat” for lonely single girls. I don’t care one tiny bit because they make me happy, especially when it’s -30C and has been for five months.
  29. I wanted to learn to knit since all the cool kids are doin’ it. I took a class and am halfway through a scarf that looks like a ten year-old made it. Actually, that’s probably not fair to the ten year-olds out there! What — I’m trying my hardest!
  30. I was once driving in the rain and saw a man walking in it. I stopped and gave him my umbrella, and I’ve never met anyone more thankful.
  31. I entered a cake baking contest in middle school. The cake was called “Better Than Sex” and I won first place. My parents were so proud.
  32. I’ve met and had my photo taken with Julian Schnabel. He. Was. Awesome.
  33. I’ve met David Sedaris and was so starstruck that I could barely speak. He signed my book with a hand-drawn photo of Abe Lincoln with a mouth bubble that said “Diabetes is for lovers”. Yeah, I didn’t get it either.

1I’ve actually written more than 104 posts, but haven’t published 49 posts I’ve drafted. For shame.
2Anglican, for my Canadian readers
3 If you don’t know what it means, look it up!
4 This applies to Boeings only. I’ve only flown an Airbus once and that was in Europe, so I was probaby either inebriated or exhausted.
5 Also known as Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone in the U.S. I have no idea why it’s called something else in Canada and the UK.
6 Although I despise its Canadian editor, Graydon Carter. His editor’s column was about George W. Bush every single month literally for eight years. I would think that someone as educated and revered as he is could surely come up with something to talk about other than GWB for 96 issues.
7 By “Tex-Mex”, I do not mean “mexican”. Everyone in Toronto thinks that I mean “interior mexican” when I say I miss mexican food. Clearly, they have never had the goodness that is Tex-Mex.
8 It’s from when my mom was here. It was, dammit!
9 Because I’m a classy dame.
10 Imported from Texas because the single, solitary store that sells it in Toronto charges 4x the price I pay in Houston.
11 I am secretly a 75 year-old woman.
12  The name of my first pet and the street on which I grew up, yo.
13 Does anyone else find the irony in the fact that my lucky number is also the 13th footnote?! I swear I did not plan that!

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