In Your Face

Old Nose

Exactly 46 days ago, I had a nose job.I know — it’s hard to believe, isn’t it? In fact, prior to the surgery, I told several people what I was doing and literally every one of them said “I really don’t think  you need a nose job.” I appreciated their sentiment but I needed it.

Here’s why: anyone who has ever slept in the same city room as me knows that my snoring and I were pretty much single-handedly sawing down the Redwood National Forest on a nightly basis. I was keeping everyone else up but, mostly, I was keeping myself up. I was always exhausted, even after getting eight hours of “sleep” and was barely able to make it through my work day, much less through my busy social life post-work.

So I did what any smart girl would do and scheduled appointments to meet with three plastic surgeons. All three of them told me the same thing: I had a major deviated septum (read: I was physically prevented from breathing out of the left side of my nose and was only getting 25% airflow through it — 25%!). In other words, I was pretty much breathing through one side of my face. Hello…we all know what lack of oxygen does to the body and it isn’t good, that’s for sure! Plus, since it was a medical condition, the “inside” part of the surgery was all done for the mighty, mighty price of free (thank you, company for which I work!). Sadly, the “outside” portion was not, but no matter — I’ve started growing a money tree on my patio to take care of this expense.

Four weeks later, there I was at St. Luke’s Hospital at the crack o’dawn being wheeled into the operating room with a nurse wearing an LSU hat. This, I thought, could only mean good things. Sure enough, three hours and one improved nose later, I was all fixed up. Once I was home, my amazing momma went into overdrive taking care of me — she cooked for me, cleaned for me, took care of Abby (my cat), made sure I wasn’t comatose from the copious drugs I was taking, and shoveled frozen peas into baggie after baggie so my black eyes would go away.  The bottom line is that my mom rocks!

I’m not going to go into the gory details because, really, who cares? But know this: it was all worth the wait.

New 46-day-old nose

My nose is definitely still in the healing stage, but it was worth it all. It was worth the not-blowing-my-nose-for-46-days. It was worth the tip-of-my-nose-is-still-numb-which-feels-oh-so-weird. It was even definitely worth the fact that my nose is still swollen and will be for several more months (well, maybe this isn’t so worth it), because the fact of the matter is that I can now breathe!!!

I’ve asked very good and reliable sources, and have been assured that I’m no longer snoring when I sleep. This, I can tell you, is worth every single thing that comes along with major surgery. What else is good? I no longer feel like an 87 year-old woman who needs to nap every five minutes at 10 am. Trust me — that’s  not at all good for work productivity…not good at all! I finally have a ton of energy and am sleeping like one billion times better. It’s made the people sleeping in the same city room as me happy, especially my cat who was threatening to register a complaint with animal protection about it. And, the cosmetic work I had done didn’t change the way I looked, a la Jennifer Grey, but reduced the projection of my nose by 1/2 inch, reduced the width, and made it smaller all-around (maybe one day soon I’ll actually get to see the final result…like when this freaking swelling goes down!).

The bottom line is that I’m happier than I’ve been in a long, long time because I can finally breathe…which is kind of a big deal. All I can say is I’ve seen god and it’s in the form of my plastic surgeon. Bless this man — bless him long time!


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